Who the heck am I? And why should you care?
I'm
Kathleen...a
43-year-old single woman from the Midwestern U.S. who
doesn't have the desire to hang out in bars, nor the time or energy for
random dating...and I'm
frustrated by how hard it is for me to find men who have a similar odd
(yet captivating) mix of life preferences, attitudes and interests.
So I'm taking my Quest for a soulmate to the Internet. If you haven't
already read one of the numerous personal ads I have floating around
online (like this one or this one), check out my "Coffee
Date" page for
basic details about me.Why a Quest?
Because I tend to be a very driven person even under the best of circumstances. Waiting for something to "just happen" is not my style. And, as an entreprenur, it's not unusual for me to work 50+ hours per week. I honestly don't have time or the patience for long, drawn-out, get-to-know-you chit-chat and casual dating (frankly, I'd rather get some extra sleep!) So by necessity, my search for love has to be very direct and time-efficient.Because dating sucks.
And I'll fess up...I don't really like dating. I'm just introverted and shy enough to find it pretty stressful and I think it's a horribly inefficient way to get to know someone. And it's made so much more stressful for me because several times I've ended up falling hard for someone and discovering pretty far into the process that there's some huge relationship-killing "land mine" that makes us utterly incompatible. And thus, heartbreak ensues."Efficient Love? WTF?"
Serial entrepreneur and insanely busy person Robert Goodman invented the Efficient Love process to find the love of his life. And it worked! Then, lucky for me, he wrote a book about it.
Unlike traditional "random" dating, the goal of Efficient Love is to exchange about five dates' worth of personal information up-front, while your brain is still working. Before you spend weeks or months going out with (and falling for) someone who's fundamentally incompatible. And before your “naughty bits” do their best to convince you that you don’t need Mr. Right…when "Mr. Right This Second" is standing in front of you. If you think this sounds wierd, I don't blame you. It IS wierd! But "normal" hasn't produced the results I want.
The Efficient Love Lists
The Efficient Love process involves exchanging several lists with a prospective partner to find out if you're truly compatible, before you invest a lot of emotional energy in someone. Yeah...un-romantic, but very time-efficient and heartbreak-preventing. The Efficient Love Lists are...* The Facet Foreplay List describing the various facets of my life (this information is included in my Coffee Date page.)
* The Profound List — the list that describes the specific things I'm looking for in a man (you'll find this in the About You and Deal-Breakers pages)
* The Profane List — The X-rated list of naughty must-haves I need to be happy in a romantic relationship (you don't get to read this unless you've sent me your own Facet Foreplay, Profound and Profane Lists, and I've decided I like what I see.)
* The Day In/Day Out List of lifestyle preferences that will determine whether or not a potential mate and I could stand to live with each other on a daily basis. (You'll see this list if our first three lists are compatible.)
* The Five Years From Today List describing what I want my life to look like Five Years From Today. (I'm still working on this list myself...I've never been good at long-range planning...)
So that’s why this website exists. If you read the whole thing, you’ll probably know more about me than anyone you’ve ever gone out with! And if we’re not a match, we’ll know long before we ever run up a long-distance phone bill.
The Down Side
I realize this is a totally unconventional way to find True Love. And I realize that this process is likely to alienate some men who may otherwise be a great match for me. But as those men have failed utterly to beat a path to my door, and my own random dating efforts haven’t worked...and my friends have stopped fixing me up because I’m “too picky”... and eHarmony sucks…I'm giving Efficient Love a try.How to get started
First, check out my Deal Breakers page. If you don't see yourself on there, move on to the Coffee Date. If you find a deal breaker on the Coffee Date, then thanks for playing! Move along, there's nothing to see here. ;)If the Coffee Date gets you all hot and bothered, move on to the Second Date page. And if you haven't fallen asleep or smashed your monitor (or iPhone) by the time you reach the end, start putting your own lists together. Then send them to me from my Contact page.
Even if we're not a match, putting your own lists together can help you get focused on what's really important to you in a relationship...and help you find your own True Love. I really do believe in the Efficient Love
process!Thanks for reading this far...if you think we could be a match, I look forward to hearing from you!