About My Soulmate
What do I want in a man? Since this is my dream, my fantasy, I'm asking for the world. Yeah, it's not "realistic," but neither are Picasso's landscapes.
My ideal love and life partner is free of any of these deal-breakers. And he's also (drum roll, please...)
- Human
- Male
- English-speaking
- Close to my age (somewhere between 37 and 50?)
- Single! Not married. Not separated. SINGLE.
- Emotionally healthy and available
- Happily childless or an empty nester
- Very intelligent (book smarts and street smarts)
- A non-smoker/drug-free
- Young for his age (unless he's, like, 37)
- Attractive (to me anyway!)
- Rational and intellectual
- A great dancer (or willing to learn)
- Talented in any number of ways
- Creative and/or artistic (musical ability a HUGE plus)
- Fascinatingly geeky
- A live-and-let-live libertarian
- Probably non-religious (atheist or agnostic)
- Physically healthy (no chronic or communicable diseases)
- Very fun-loving with a sense of childlike wonder
- Financially secure and self-sufficient (six-figure income a plus)
- Probably pasty white like me (I prefer fair hair/eyes to dark)
- A Myers-Briggs ENFP, ENTP, or ENTJ
My Dream Man
He is probably close to my age or a bit older...but most likely younger than 50. He's taller than I am by several inches, and tends toward the "elvish" body type without having to work very hard at it. He's very kinesthetic and comfortable in his body. He's able to move fluidly and gracefull through space...he may be a dancer, or a yoga practitioner or some other kind of athlete. He exercises and eats well, but he's not insane or dogmatic about it.
His orderly closet includes a nice tux, a few very nice hand-tailored suits, and lots of very well-worn jeans. He also has a number of vintage pieces that he wears when we go swing dancing. Plus there's the whole "special" closet with his selection of UtiliKilts, a couple of authentic Scottish kilts, his Stormtrooper costume, and a number of other DragonCon, sci-fi, and Renaissance or historical re-enactment costumes, plus several "unmentionables" for special occasions. ;)
Nothing about him is really "fussy," which is not to say that he doesn't care about things like his clothing or his appearance. It's just that he's able to put things into perspective and realize some things aren't worth obsessing over.
He has an inherent, confident masculinity about him, and it makes him feel good to take care of me and be attentive to my needs. And boy, does he love taking care of my needs. If there's anything at all he's obsessed about, it's the magical power of femininity and pleasing the woman in his life. We have a spectacular and creative love life, naturally.
Now that he's semi-retired, we have time to do quite a bit of traveling. We do at least 4 weeks a year overseas, plus frequent trips to dance events throughout the U.S. It may be that he's seen a lot more of the world than I have, and enjoys showing me around his favorite places.
Because he's kinesthetic, he's pretty good with his hands. It's possible he's a massage therapist (pro or amateur). He may be a sculptor, or a woodworker, or a mechanic or carpenter. Or maybe he enjoys landscaping projects. One thing's certain, we enjoy working on home improvement/landscaping projects together.
He's wickedly funny...maybe at some point he did stand-up or was a comedy writer. Or maybe he's an author. One way or the other, he's some kind of communicator. He's comfortable expressing his desires, needs and wants. He freely expresses love and affection through physical gestures, pet names, buying gifts and spending quality time together. And possibly best of all, he speaks with some kind of fabulous accent, like UK English, or maybe Irish, Scottish or French. (Sigh!)
We see eye to eye in both politics (libertarian) and philosophy (living the Golden Rule, committing random acts of kindness, living a life of intention and abundance). If he's religious, his creed is life-affirming, joyous, loving and accepting. His heart is not polluted with guilt or resentment.
While he doesn't have kids of his own, he's the kind of man that any boy would look up to and want to be like. And little girls develop crushes on him wherever he goes. He's also great with animals (no allergies, of course.)
He enjoys shooting sports, and in fact, he's an expert marksman and ranked sport shooter. He has an awareness of the importance of self-defense, and he doesn't expect anyone to protect or support his family, because he believes that's his responsibility.
Having just sold a business, he's financially free and can maintain a decent middle-class lifestyle without working very much. He's not into money for its own sake...it's just a byproduct of being good at what he does and creating value for a lot of people. He can afford nice things, and if he decides to spend money, he chooses to invest in high-quality things that are going to last. He's not hugely consumeristic. But he's not into a Spartan lifestyle of denial either. He'd just rather travel a lot than buy a new car every couple of years.
He's a very self-aware and "centered" man. He doesn't cart around a lot of emotional baggage. If he's been hurt or disappointed in the past, he has worked through it and moved on. He has a warmth and approachability that both men and women find very attractive and energizing. But he has strong personal boundaries and knows what business he has with what people.
It may even be that he is some kind of coach, or teacher, or mentor of some type. Maybe he's a seminar leader or presenter. In some way, he expresses natural leadership based on a concern for the highest good for everyone involved in a given situation.
One way or another, he's an expert in something. He has applied himself to learning a complex skill and he's really good at it. It may be something creative like music or acting. Maybe he's a private pilot. Or maybe he's just an expert in this chosen profession. And he's proud of his expertise without being an ass about it.
He has an insatiable thirst for knowledge and learning and growth. And he's a conoisseur of a number of things (wine, women, song, etc.)
Emotionally, he's incredibly affectionate, caring and kind. He's a happy and joyous person and it makes you feel good to be around him. However, he's certainly emotionally strong and resilient...and a pretty tough businessman.
He doesn't smoke. He doesn't do drugs. He's healthy (mentally and physically)...clean and sober.
In terms of his appearance, he may or may not be considered ruggedly handsome...but I can't keep my eyes (or hands) off him. And amazingly enough, he thinks I'm pretty hot stuff, too.
And since this is a fantasy, he's also an incredible cook...and he enjoys housework. He's kind and loving like Wayne Dyer, he has the mechanical aptitude of Norm Abram, the tough-love, take-no-prisoners attitude of Dr. Phil, and the sense of humor (and accents) of the guys from Top Gear. And he has not ever, not even one time, left up the toilet seat.
If this sounds like you, please check out my About Me pages!